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Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
This quote makes me a little sad and at the same time it feeds me with a passion to get beyond my own need for the good opinion of others. I do not want my life to be a “mimicry” …I want it to be authentic and real and purposeful. I do not want to be anyone but my authentic self.
When we speak about how to get beyond the chaos and suffering of the physical world in this challenge we need to talk about being authentic. I think one crucial step in finding more than this …is in rediscovering who we really are and embracing our authentic natures.
For most of our lives, we have been conditioned to “act” …to dress up in costumes, wear masks and read from scripts that are “socially approved.” We fear the audiences response if we should be seen without the makeup and the rehearsed words. Will they boo us off the stage of acceptance? Will we lose the role we were playing? What then?
Life is just a “play.” William Shakespeare described it best in As You Like It:
“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”
The play will be full of drama, tragedy and comedy. It will present fools dressed as intimidating kings and wise men dressed as fools to act around us. We ourselves will play both the fool and the king. We may be here for seven acts…seven decades or more…or we may be written out of the script sooner. The question is…regardless of what play you are starring in…do you want to spend these seven ages reading someone else’s words or speaking from your heart? Do you want to mumble through the scenes or feel every monologue like Hamlet did? Do you want to act to please the audience or the Writer of the play?
I think we need to realize that for the most part we are wearing costumes that are heavy and weigh us down….that the dialogue we are mimicking doesn’t always feel right because it doesn’t come from us. We have to realize that underneath that “act” …we exist. The Writer knows that…He wants us fully and joyfully in character … to feel the scenes and ad lib away if we need to…. as long as we are ourselves and remember who we really are.
Being authentic is being able to be ourselves and independent of the good opinion of others. We follow our own course here, our own path on this earthly stage and the director of our lives is not society but God. He is a director that is patient and kind…wanting who we really are to shine through whatever we are saying or doing. People will sit like an audience before us, expecting a certain performance…they may judge and critique us…they may make opinions in the form of assumptions about who and what we are. They may share those opinions with others as a review…or they may attempt to keep us trapped in roles that do not feel right to us becasue it feels right to them. But they cannot hurt us…They do not know us…will not know us …will not know the meaning of the play and the Director’s Intention …unless we give up acting and start being what God put us here to be. …ourselves! Then they will see the brilliance of it all.
Hmm! More food for thought from a crazy old actress who is tired and sick from wearing a heavy costume and reading someone else’s lines. I want to play the role I was meant to play.
All is well!
Continue reading Play the Role You Were Meant to Play »
Henceforth, please God, forever I forego
The yoke of men’s opinions. I will be
Light-hearted as a bird, and live with God.
I find him in the bottom of my heart,
I hear continually his voice therein.
* * *
The little needle always knows the North,
The little bird remembereth his note,
And this wise Seer within me never errs.
I never taught it what it teaches me;
I only follow, when I act aright.
Ralph Waldo Emerson; October 9, 1832.
Doing much better. Despite the bouts of physical pain and the fatigue it causes…I am so excited about the learning that has transpired in the last couple of days. Aha moments are wonderful! I feel compelled to study Emerson. His words touch a chord in my heart.
Continue reading Inspired by Emerson’s words »
Just checking in between the bouts. I try to act all stoic around here…. but it is nice to feel validated or to reach out like I am… to someone or something. Pain is a lonely experience. I had discomfort yesterday after my entry but not pain. Pain didn’t get bad until about 3 this morning, waking me and keeping me up. The couple of Tylenol Extra Strength I took hours ago has taken the edge off but not enough to let me sleep. I can write and that is somehow comforting. I am seeking to find some peace here in this. Simply detaching from the situation and watching it as an observer brings that peace as strange as that may sound. I realize, through my somewhat intense observations that pain has an ebb and flow like an ocean wave…each wave, each cluster comes in to shore picking up intensity before it breaks and then retreats backwards. In that pulling back there is a quiet reprieve. It is also like a breath that tenses up the body when we draw it in and releases and relaxes it when we let it out. I just see waves and breath and am learning to relax into and appreciate the valleys of the wave and work my way through the peaks. Just thinking of it that way helps. I am confident that each bout will pass like this one is doing now. I am confident that in each bout, no matter how intense it may get, I will find the valley in which I can rest before the climb up the next summit begins. How much this experience teaches about the ups and downs of life. We need to learn to ride the wave…to breathe in and breathe out as life does the same with its temporary circumstances and lessons.
It is all good. Especially now as I am falling into a 5 on the pain scale. I can handle 5. Soon it will be a 4…then a 3 and I will be able to happily return to sleep.
All is well
Continue reading More on Physical Pain »
Out of love and hatred, out of earnings and borrowings and leadings and losses; out of sickness and pain; out of wooing and worshipping; out of travelling and voting and watching and caring; out of disgrace and contempt, comes our tuition in the serene and beautiful laws.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (A-Z Quotes)
Wow! I come across this quote shortly after an aha moment. After writing my entry on questioning I have come to realize something very important. I understand why I got sick. There is dis-ease inside me but it just that. Dis…ease….I have not been at ease with how I have been living my life. I have been conforming on the outside yet questioning incessantly on the inside. I have spent years doing what was expected of me but not understanding why. The physical and social world laws and rules, by which we tend to operate, never made sense to me…yet I followed them. I did my best to make sense of them even if I couldn’t apply “belief’ to them. I did this at the expense of my ” suppressed” desire to follow the “serene and beautiful laws” Emerson writes about. There was a lack of ease inside me, in-congruence between what I did and what I felt. Man…I am a little bit more like Emerson in my desire to “know” over “do” than I realized. It took sickness and pain to make me understand that. Not accepting this truth is where the disease comes from. Hmm! I have paid my tuition now I am ready to learn.
All is well.
Continue reading Dis-Ease »
Pain, indolence, sterility, endless ennui also have their lesson for you, if you are great.
Ralph Waldo Emerson (A-Z Quotes)
I am writing about physical pain today becasue I am about to be experiencing it fully. I want to understand it so I can accept it and learn and grow from it. Right now I am far from “great” when it comes to this type of pain but I want to be. This doesn’t mean that I am going to sit idly by while it tears through my pelvic area and lower back. Oh No… I am going to do whatever I can, short of injecting myself with a general anesthetic, to numb the sucker let me tell ya lol but I am not going to resist it, nor will I feed it. (Seriously I use a combination of NSAIDS: Naprosyn and Advil which I understand in terms of how they scientifically work in the body…I see in my head how these drugs reduce inflammation and that is comforting , and stagger dose with Tylenol which I don’t understand as well. ) But beyond the drugs I am simply going to accept it and find the lesson it. I come here in the early stages of it to numb/distract and prepare for the “acceptance” part of the experience. When I hit that 7 and above on the pain scale , it will be hard to write, think and make sense of it. So I do it now.
Pain is a foe only becasue of the fear that goes with it. Fear is the real enemy not pain. “Pain is superficial, and therefore fear is.” Beneath the superficial layer of pain lies the healing truth. If we reach in through the pain to truth maybe we will not feel the pain so intensely?
Pain is also a friend…like all experiences of contrast in this world…it holds an important lesson in it. It is teaching me to pay attention to the “dis-ease” occurring within me and I will write about that in the next entry. It is teaching me the importance of being in tune with what is going on inside me, not just at the physical level. It teaches me to value my body and all it can do. It teaches me to appreciate and be grateful for the pain free times that are much more abundant. It guides me toward healing on a much deeper level. Yeah…maybe it isn’t a friend I want to take out for tea…but pain can be a friend.
All is well.
Quotes came from A-Z quotes : http://www.azquotes.com/author/4490-Ralph_Waldo_Emerson/tag/pain
Continue reading Physical Pain: Friend or Foe? »