Displaying 1 - 5 of 570 entries.

Crumbled Pieces

  • Posted on June 24, 2016 at 11:58 am

 

Crumbled pieces

Picking up the crumbled pieces

that have somehow made it to the floor,

I wonder which ones to leave behind,

which  ones I will not need anymore.

What a mess it seems to be,

this that was once organized and neat,

now scattered remnants of  the  life I knew

laying like  puzzle pieces at my feet.

I see her face among them

and I scoop down to place her in my hand

but atlas too much of her is missing

and she blows away like  sand.

I see the opportunities for better choices

scattered like precious gems all around

and though I want to take the moments back

I am forced to leave them on the ground.

 

I pick a piece up there

and pick a piece up here

I throw away the ugly

and cling to what is dear.

I scramble to tidy up

the mess that I have somehow made

before time and age cause

the lovely  crumbs to wear away and fade.

There is some sense in this

beneath the chaos and the mess

and  though I can not fix it all

I can surely do my best

to find the peace within each remnant

of the  life that I have known

so I can look  down to clearly see

how I have learned and how I’ve grown.

Dale-Lyn 2007???

 

I think I wrote this years ago, during my divorce,  when  my world started to crumble a part ( perception only).  I am not sure really.  It certainly fits into my experience of packing away my memories and cleaning up this mess.  :)

All is well!

Responsibility

  • Posted on June 23, 2016 at 12:59 pm

This life is functioning only because of its ability to respond.

—Sadhguru

 

I did it again.  I said out loud in not so many words:  “I am not responsible for the life circumstances that have come my way since I first started seeking help for an apparent malfunctioning of the body.”  I pointed fingers and I blamed the doctors who made assumptions, those who didn’t help me in the way I thought I should be helped, the insurance company for their denial of support and God for throwing all this crap down on me.  I even blamed myself…well my ego.  (My ego gets the wrap for everything I do that hurts me or others lol. It makes a great fall guy and scape-goat. ) I felt angry when I pointed a finger at others and guilty when I pointed it at myself.  Whenever we get angry or feel guilty, we are blaming and whenever we are blaming we are giving up our responsibility.  Whenever we give up our responsibility we give up the power to make our lives better.  We hurt ourselves further, limiting our lives and trapping ourselves in an experience of suffering. We do more harm to ourselves than the unpleasant circumstance could ever do. Why the heck would we do that?

I am a 100% responsible for where I am right now!  100%.  Responsibility does not refer to accountability and blame regarding a situation.  In social terms we tend to use it to understand who is going to take the wrap for something.  The social connotation of the word causes fear and we tend to want to step back from it and quickly say, “It wasn’t me!  I am not responsible!.  Responsibility, however, simply means,as the word implies: response-ability. .. The ability to  respond.

In existential understanding of the word…responsibility is life.  Without responsibility there is no life.  It is our ability to respond to everything in our environment that ensures our survival.  We respond to the oxygen in the environment.  We respond to the temperature, the food we eat.  The air, the temperature, the food also responds to us.  Life depends on this constant two-way responsive relationship between everything and everyone.  We naturally respond as part of our life process and that ability to respond is unlimited.

We are going to respond whether we are aware of it or not.  We can respond consciously or we can respond unconsciously.  Conscious responsibility is a beautiful healing thing that allows for change, growth and expansion. We can not take action to improve a situation until we accept conscious responsibility for it.

What makes more sense?  Pointing a finger at self or others so we can continue suffering or taking responsibility for everything that happens in our lives so we can continue to expand?  Hmmm!  I know how I would answer.

All is well.

“If you see that you are responsible, even the unpleasantness can be turned into wisdom.”

—Sadhguru –

See more at: http://www.sadhguruonline.com/videos/responsibility-in-adversity#sthash.6Cu6LccK.dpuf

Moon Magic

  • Posted on June 22, 2016 at 12:01 pm

Oh man!  That was depressing!  Yuck!!  I don’t want to stay there lol…so…onto something more positive .  We had a “Strawberry Moon” here a few nights ago.  The last one, of this magnitude, was 49 years ago.

It was beautiful.  I went out and walked around beneath it.  It reminded me of this poem I wrote three years ago.  So to bring us back on the track of faith, patience and appreciation:

 

Moon Magic

 

It sits in the center of the nightly universe,

casting starry spells on us lost and busy folks below,

Sending down tentacles of magic

that curl around our need to know minds,

strangling the sense out of them

until we feel nothing but the awe of its sweet pull.

 

We are drawn to its enticing secrets;

lean forward to hear the eternal mystery

whispered in the breeze;

strain to make sense of what lies beneath

the thumping of our  own hearts

in this limitless abyss of spirit.

 

Atlas we can not hear,

only feel

the reassuring arms that direct us forward

into the night,

towards the abundant gifts

hidden in the darkness of what surrounds us.

 

We are being pulled

by the powerful  maternal arms

of nature,

of a knowing ,

that existed long before our weary minds

began to question.

 

We are  compelled to follow,

to breathe in the  intoxicating night air

until we no longer need to question,

no longer need to do anything

but to be

and to give thanks

in the hours

supervised by the magical moon

above us.

Dale-Lyn 2013

 

DSC_0238

 

Insignificant

  • Posted on June 22, 2016 at 11:48 am

Okay…I can’t help myself!  the more I resist…the more it persists lol.  Another poem from my past and not necessarily a pretty one.  Still on this renewed obsession about the unfairness of my situation.  I want to pull out the repressed feelings and memories.  There is inflammation around the thorn in me causing renewed tenderness but it will pass.  It will.  I will write something new about it and it will pass.  I will find the faith and patience I pray for once again. But first I recognize the wound…

Insignificant

 

“Insignificant”….

the heavy but innocent word

is  breathed into the air,

settling in my mind

to find only more confusion there.

 

“Insignificant” …

without an  explanation,

the word twists into my soul,

turning any hope that brewed within me

into something liquid cold.

 

“Insignificant”…

an empty word to others,

a word meaning so much more to me…

a scarlet letter

stamped upon my chest 

for everyone else to see.

 

“Insignificant”…

a sharp and verbal dagger,

it penetrates through my ears,

piercing through the core of me

til I  am bleeding out my fears.

 

“Insignificant”…

once again there is no evidence

to validate the hemorrhaging that is real,

as my life is  drained away from me

and every drop I feel.

 

 

“Insignificant”…

is meant  not for the symbols

 that  bump up and down

upon the screen

but for the me who lay there,

all I am,

and all I’ve ever been. 

 

Dale-Lyn 2012

 

Poetry, it is!

  • Posted on June 21, 2016 at 11:27 am

I said I wasn’t going to do the poetry challenge.  Wasn’t going to go there.  I resisted and the more I resisted, the more the poems persisted.  :)

I have been drawn to some of my old poems and I don’t know why?  When I read them, years after I wrote them, I have these aha moments…”Oh!!! So that is what that means!!  Wow!  Cool!”  It really is kind of amazing. I  realize through my poetry how desperate I was  in my seeking comfort and help for what my body seemed to be doing and this deep frustartion I felt when I wasn’t heard.  This has really been going on for decades and there was so much pain and frustration when I received  “assumptions” about me as a person, rather than validation and help for a physical condition. It was shaming.  Twenty some years of presenting with the same symptoms, even with objective evidence, and I am still getting assumption rather than help. I came to realize that I was wasting energy trying to change other opinion especially when my experience of shame belongs to me.  It is up to me to do something about it.  I have control over that,  not other opinion.

I also see through my poems how I began seeking spiritual solutions rather than external ones to help me cope with this.  Most importantly, I see this calling to write that was intensified by the experience…to write about my truth, to write about life and everything.  As my body kept seemingly getting more limited with  physical activity, the more I found myself here…writing…. and going inward for answers.  It was almost like life created the circumstances of perceived illness and suffering so that I would come here to do the healing that really needed to be done.  As a result of my circumstances, I wrote about 100 poems, two completed novels, two partially completed novels (directly related or indirectly related to this idea of medical assumption) and a book on healing from the effects of fear and shame.  Amazing really!!!  None of this would have transpired if my body didn’t act up, if I would have been diagnosed and treated right away, if some professional somewhere would not have judged me and passed that judgment on, if I didn’t suffer a bit through this.  I was led to where I am right now!  Every bit of bradycardia, palpitations, chest pain, and fatigue was  a way of getting my attention!!!  Every bit of negative judgments and assumption, lack of validation and support was to spur me on.  Every thing that transpired was to make me stop and do what I am meant to be doing!  Wow!  How cool is that?

So I am afraid you will be seeing more poems over the next 5 + weeks.  Bear with me…I am on a mission. lol

All is well in my world.