Displaying 1 - 5 of 534 entries.
What we resist persists; what we look upon will disappear.
Neale Donald Walsch
Resisting life is not the answer. When “bad” things seem to happen to us our first response is usually to say “No! You got to be kidding me?” I am not sure how many times I looked up at the heavens in the last few months and uttered those very words…but it was done a lot. I was in a cycle of perpetual resistance to what was seeming to occur in my life: my health failing again, the pending loss of my home, the loss of finances, the inability to provide for my family, my reputation being damaged by others, property being taken away and now what is left of my job. I resisted. I stamped my feet into the ground below me, clenched my fists and jaws and said “No! You got to be kidding me?” I was not going to let any of these things go easily. I procrastinated in dealing with them. I worked harder than I should have. I dug my knuckles in until they were white with effort and I was completely exhausted…instead of succeeding …things were pulled from my grasp by circumstance. I was losing and exhausting myself in the process. More and more things were taken from me ( perception only). The more I resisted what was happening, the more the circumstances persisted.
I was looking out at my world through ego eyes…the two eyes below my forward that were as wide as saucers in my shock and disbelief at how quickly things could go sour on a person. I was not seeing what was really happening, only what I was creating. The more I resisted the vision of my life as it was, the more all consuming that vision became. I was obviously doing it all wrong.
I know now ( and please be aware that in my knowing, it is still much easier for me to talk the talk than it is to walk the walk…though I am getting better) that I am using the wrong tools to see with. If I really want to see the world as it truly is, I need to look through Spirit, not ego. I have to be willing to walk off the edge of my comfort zone right into the arms of these circumstances. Though they may seem like tragedies now…I know in my heart…they are gifts that will lead to something much greater than I have ever known. These things are here for a reason in my life. Instead of resisting them I must embrace them. They will lead me to see the world through Spirit. And when I can finally do that all this so called “crap” I am seeing now will disappear. It will have served its purpose and it will leave.
Well that is what I believe anyway.
All is well in my world.
Continue reading What We Look Upon Will Disappear »
I could see peace instead of this.
ACIM Lesson 57
We have a choice. We always have a choice when it comes to what we decide to rest our eyes upon, to focus our minds on, to attempt to understand. We have a choice between two things: Fear and Love; War and Peace; Ego or Spirit.
Anything that is not love, not peace is a war of some kind. Wars are derived of fear and a a need to defend and attack because of fear. Wars do not just occur on bloody battlefields…those places are just symbolic of how far a lack of love can take us.
Wars occur in homes, on political platforms, in community forums, on hockey rinks or football fields, and in our work spaces. Wars occur in our minds. Anytime the need to be right( for fear of being wrong) supersedes a desire for peace, we have war. Our desire for “justice” can lead us into battles where everyone loses something.
There is no real winning when egos are involved. Oh one ego may have the momentary glory of placing a foot upon the chest of its fallen opponent but that glory will not last. A sense of power, external validation, recognition and accomplishment over another will not feed the ego for long. It is too full of fear to be quieted for more than a few moments at a time. There will be counter attacks and more battles. It will let more blood even if it is our very own. There really is no winning with the ego. There is no winning in war.
Oh we may say to ourselves and the world around us, “Well I didn’t start it. I was just protecting myself. They are the bad guys.” Yet, defensive thinking is offensive thinking. Every time we feel attacked we are initiating a counter attack. Every time we seek to protect ourselves we are declaring war. Fear is the ruthless commander here and ego is its psychotic sidekick.
Spirit stands back and quietly watches us as we come to realize this fact. It sees no right and wrong; no “mine” and ‘theirs” ; no borders that need defending. It sees no reason for war because it sees no fear. It just sees us heeding the direction of ego and making a complete mess of our thinking. It sees us making choices to see things that are not there. It patiently waits for us to turn in its direction and say: “I don’t want anymore war! I just want peace.” Then it opens its arms to us , draws us ( and our opponents) into its protective embrace where there is nothing but love. From that embrace the once smokey battlegrounds full of death and destruction, pain and suffering become vibrant and alive with new life and light. Where there was desperation there is hope. Where their was ugliness, there is beauty. Where there was danger lurking in every shadow, there is a safety that knows no limit. We know from this place that who we really are can never be harmed. We see no threat in anyone or anything. We see a totally different world than the one ego painted for us.
And all we have to do is step off the battlegrounds we have created in our weary minds, turn to Spirit and say: “I chose peace rather than this.”
All is well in my world.
Continue reading I Choose Peace Rather Than This »
Al Pacino in Justice For All said “You are out of order! ” not Dustin Hoffman in Kramer Vs Kramer
Continue reading Oops! »
When critics sit in judgment it is hard to tell where justice leaves off and vengeance begins.
Chuck Jones (Brainy Quote)
Justice is a tricky word and an ideal that should be approached with caution. We are all critics , in a sense, and our pleas that we are standing up for justice can hide the fact from others and ourselves that we are really standing up for vengeance. The borders between the two are very blurry.
I was recently involved in an incident where I had to stand up alone and unsupported in a situation where I was expecting support over an ethical issue. The tables got turned on me pretty quickly, were possibly pre-planned that way and I found myself alone standing up for a principle I felt I was bound by in my role. I had the factual evidence in front of me but my would be supporter turned their back on it and me for that matter during the process and it was made to appear that my plea for justice was unjust. I didn’t know what to do. How was I to proceed when what was so obviously objective was so discarded? Shocked by the onslaught, I found myself pulling at my brain cells for ideals and principles to guide me in my desire to do the “right” and “just’ thing for all. I found some. I used them to try to reach the individual I was confronting directly, ignoring the perceived sabotage of me and my effort that was going on to the side of me and in places outside of the present situation. I had such an ingrained and intense sense that I was right; that what was called for was justice and learning…not penalty… but at the same time I knew I had no power where I was previously assured some. My idea of fair and well thought out justice did not prevail as I was assured it would. The objective evidence was denied and my personal integrity was put into question. I walked away from the situation “fuming”, feeling “sabotaged” and “attacked”on so many levels. I felt I was right and I knew that those who actually took the time to review the objective evidence believed I was right as well. “Cut and dry”, I was told. I was also told I could take it further…that what happened to me and with the situation was just “not right!”
And there I was…caught up in a right vs wrong scenario; a good vs bad drama and I felt I was starring in the movie “Justice for All”: “You are out of order. You are all out of order!!!” lol. I wanted justice. It became a personal matter. I spent hours and hours since that day going over possible outcomes and seeking ways to gain justice. I will show them who was right and who was wrong. I will demand order in the court! My sense of fairness became very blurred. And then it dawned on me this morning after reading the above quote…where as I was seeking justice during that ethical situation, I was now seeking vengeance for the perceived attack on me. I wanted to make this person/persons who I felt set me up pay for what they did to me. I wanted that more than I wanted justice for the situation that brought this all to light.
My ego took over again. It festered with the perceived sense of injustice for days. It wanted vengeance as ego’s do. It is ego that often cries “justice!!” It has absolutely no idea what justice is; what is best for me as an outcome to this situation…it is only thinking “attack, attack, attack” (Just so there is no confusion here …these are not homicidal or assault attacks I am merely thinking about bringing the situation to light …Those homicidal thoughts were only fleeting lol)
There is no doubt that there are issues that need to be reviewed again and brought to light! No doubt! But I cannot approach this with any vengeance in my heart. If my thoughts are vengeful…then It is best I do nothing but focus on healing from my vengeful thoughts. Attack thinking, in any form, would not bring justice…that would not bring healing to places where healing needs to be. It would just bring more pain and suffering.
I have no idea why this showed up in my life…what the real purpose for it is…that purpose that serves the real me not the ego me…but I know there is a purpose in it. I can guess that I need to learn more about my own attack thoughts so I work harder at letting them go; that I see the world ego creates which I do not like at all btw and work harder to establish something more. Oh I think I am meant to do something, try something to improve a sick situation but I am being reminded that I am not ready to approach that healing if I have any remnants of vengeance in my heart.
Justice is not about penalty but ensuring an atmosphere for healing and growth! Justice truly is for all when it is viewed correctly.
All is well in my world.
Continue reading In Pursuit of Justice »
Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.
I have made mistakes and continue to make them on my way to cleaning out my mental closet and filling it with fresh, clean things. I tell myself not to make assumptions and I do; not to react with anger to perceived offenses and I find myself getting angry; I tell myself to always choose peace over drama but here I am, like a hoarder out of control, putting more and more drama into the closet I am desperately trying to clean out. It is stuffed to over capacity with attack thoughts. There is no room for the freshly ironed thoughts, the ones that are easy to look at and make you feel good inside …the ones that make the world look clean and organized and perfect in its simplicity. There is just chaos and disorganization as things tumble over each other and onto my feet whenever I open the door. When our mental closets are stuffed to the brim with self harming and other harming thinking…there is no room for healthy, life enhancing, world healing images. We need to clean up the mess!!
Yet it is challenging for us mental hoarders to let go of these thoughts even though they are cluttering up our spaces. We know we have to clean out our minds…we need to let go but we don’t seem to want to throw out that sense of righteousness we may perceive; the victim status, the idea that there is only so much out there and we have to cling, defend and protect it all costs. Or we take it out but something similar comes into view and we just have to have that…so we pick it up and throw it in. We collect offenses, wrong doings, injustices as if they were shoes we just cannot get enough of but that never fit right and only cause pain.Why do we do that?
We are told that there is more…and we reach for the beautiful: the light, the hope, the joy; the peace and the love but when we go to hang it up, there is no room. So these things are fleeting…we cannot find a space to store them. We are told that we do not have to live the way we are living…that we can change the world around us with just a bit of mental spring cleaning. But some of us ( me!!!!) hate spring cleaning. I want space to store the new stuff but it seems to be so much work sometimes to remove the old stuff…to let it go…once and for all.
So I continually make mistakes based on all this junk I have yet to clean out of my mind. I have to try harder I guess…to reach out past my little failures and keep trying. I want space in my mind where space should be. I want peace in my world not chaos…and I will not have peace until my closet is cleaned out of all the attack thoughts that clutter it up. I have to visualize that clean closet and how good it will be to have it.
All is well in my world.
Continue reading Continue to Clean Out the Closets »